Greetings, Chaotics!
Last week, I mentioned I was feeling week 6. And it's true- I was feeling IT. The struggle was real, folks. As I got closer and closer to the end of the week, my diet just kept slipping and slipping. Yes, I was still at or under my calorie budget. But I was eating crappier and crappier foods each day. My body started to feel crummy and there were several times I just cried because I was so mad at myself for self-destructing what I felt like was weeks of hard work. I stopped taking my multivitamin, too.
My oldest, who is also dieting, started seeing me and caving as well. Again, nothing too extreme, but still...she started to feel crappy and lost energy as well. Which made me feel even worse.
Thursday was the icing on the cake. I decided that all this just HAS to do with the fact that I didn't take my weekly date myself night. So, I decided that, no matter what, I was going to fill up that bathtub, get my secret stash of chocolate out of the freezer, light that candle, grab my tablet, and stay in that tub until I looked like a human sized prune.
The only problem? Everything.
Because of the week I had, I decided, I need to treat myself MORE, to just get it out of my system, so to speak(because that worked so well for me before....not.). So, I grabbed a bag of semi-better for you nacho chips that was 3/4 full, two and a half Reese's Peanut Butter Cups(my husband has been bringing them home melted as of lately, so the other half of one was all over the inside of the package instead of in the cup). I put the bathtub to the hottest water setting because, well, why not? I have in the past and it felt like ah-may-zing, especially after several days of kicking butt and taking names workout-wise. I lit that candle. I found something of interest on YouTube. I poured the last(*sniff*sniff* :( ) of my Cucumber Melon Bath and Body Works Body Wash into the tub, got my razor out to shave my legs at some point, took my clothes off, and sank in. Ahhhh.
At first, I started to eat the nacho flavored tortilla chips. I thought, I'm not going to worry about the calories. I'm just going to inhale it. I slowly started to eat one chip at a time, savoring the different spices. But then, after about five chips, I just said, okay, savoring moment over, inhale time!
I paused long enough to inhale the Peanut Butter cups, then continued on with the nacho-flavored tortilla chips.
Within five minutes, I stopped. I felt like I was having a hard time breathing. I realized, oh, maybe I'm full. I looked at the container I had put the tortilla chips in, and realized, I had eaten almost all of them. Not all of them, but most of them. I kept trying to force myself to eat more, but then something hit me.
Do you know what hit me? Nausea. Nausea hit me.
Suddenly, I felt like I was going to puke. I pushed the container away, sat back in the tub, closed my eyes, and took several slow, deep breaths. I am NOT throwing up tortillas in the bathtub. I am NOT throwing up tortillas in the bathtub!
As I kept repeating this to myself, another realization hit me.
Holy snot, when did the water in this tub get so hot?!?
What a few minutes ago felt like heaven suddenly made me feel like a lobster in boiling water. I was nauseous, I was sweating profusely, and my skin felt like it was boiling. I tried to stay in the tub, saying this was a treat, I needed to get this out of my system, etc. etc....
Then ended up jumping out of the tub, blasting the AC on and sitting in front of the fan, trying to not puke and make my heart beat normal instead of like it was going to jump out of chest.
And once again...crying.
Ugh.
So much for my date night >:(
I ended up laying in bed the rest of the night, trying to calm the raging storm that was my stomach and trying hard not to move so my heart wouldn't decided to take a walk out of my mouth. And praying for help because I was sucking so bad all week.
I don't know why, but I weighed myself the next morning. I didn't take a picture, because, honestly, I was afraid it was going to say "Get off of me, fatty!" Or, "After the week you had, you've got to be kidding me."
And do you know what I saw? Do you?
Only something that could of came from God.
195.8
I cried again. There was just no way! I stepped on the scale two more times.
195.8
195.8
Are you serious? I mean....ARE. YOU. SERIOUS?!?
I looked back on the week and realized, maybe the week wasn't as awful as I thought. I still worked out....not as much I can, but I still tried. I did eat my non-diet fare, but I was still eating a child-sized helping of most of it(except Thursday). I was sleeping so much because I was feeling crummy that, well, duh me, I wasn't eating snacks or finding an excuse to eat more.
I still didn't take a picture, because I didn't feel like I earned that weight loss.
Yes, I see once again that I do need to make a better attempt at eating better for my body foods. And this pay, I do vow to change my diet for the remaining two weeks of August. But, at least there's a silver lining in the crumpled aluminum foil of my week, no?
Friday evening....I got my period.
Crap. Crap-la-de-da-tastic.
I ended up spending the weekend eating super small portions and curled in fetal position in my bed over cramps.
Stupid nacho flavored tortilla chips with more sodium than all the oceans combined. I hate you.
Yesterday, I tried to workout a little bit. I had forgot I had joined a challenge on LoseIt! to workout at least 15 minutes every day for the rest of August and it started yesterday. So, I quickly found a 15 minute Denise Austin Workout and forced myself to do it.
Then I did a 5 minute quick walk routine with Leslie Sansone.
I was going to push myself to do a lower abdomen workout, but then my husband called, and by the time we got off the phone, it was time to tuck in the kids and go to bed.
This morning, I'm still feeling a little iffy because of my unwelcome visitor, but I'm going to try and push myself to get at least 15 minutes of working out in today. I'm hoping my unwelcome visitor will go away tomorrow and I can get back to my usual workout routine once again. But, for today, I am just trying to get back on track with Slim Fast and get back in the habit of just working out in some way. And hoping my last week's failures will not mess up my energy levels this week. Again.
Hopefully, this weekend, I can jump start my personal challenge of eating more produce and hopefully getting my energy levels back or better than where they were. If I do, I will try to upload pictures and/or writing what I eat/do a few times next week.
Anyways, here's to hoping for a better week!
Until Next Time,
~ Mama Jenn
Monday, August 15, 2016
Monday, August 8, 2016
Dieting Progress Week 6
Greetings, Chaotics!
Sorry for not writing last week. My computer got a virus and was down for the count until I could figure out how to get rid of it.
I can't believe I'm on week 6 already. Don't get me wrong- I am feeling it. This is the week where, in previous attempts, I usually make this a habit or give up and quit.
I won't lie- this morning was tough. I overslept, Hubby and I didn't work out together this weekend, we didn't get enough sleep pretty much all weekend. I tried to keep portions in check, but Friday? I have no explanation for Friday except "chaos". I see now I can't just eat whatever anymore and assume it won't affect me. I was sluggish all weekend and the food wasn't even worth it.
Today, I did my 45 minute workout, but it took everything within me to complete it. I had totally skipped my Friday Freak Clean Session(cleaning my whole house in 2-3 hours like a mad woman). So, today, I am trying to get back into my workout routine AND trying to play catch-up on getting my house clean.And yes, cleaning your house counts as a workout. No wonder most women in Stepford are so thin, LOL.
Otherwise, last week, I did really good. God was really helping me to resist(up until Friday, anyways...but again, that's my fault). I had actually pushed myself to go from working out 45 minutes to 1 hour! I also got over my "ten pound slump". My "ten pound slump" is what happens to me once I lose 10 pounds...I stop losing for a bit. Last time I had attempted this, I stopped trying and quit. This time, though, I pushed myself to go harder workout-wise...and it paid off! I lost 3 pounds!
My total now lost is 13 pounds!!!
I'm still using Slim Fast Powder, and the Garcinia Cambogia. Also, I'm not sure if I mentioned it before or not, but I also discovered this AMAZING bars from my local Fred Meyer(It's a Kroger Grocery Store). They're from their brand, Simple Truth. My favorite is the Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip, and a second is their Peanut Butter Extreme. I eat one after my workout and I can't say enough how they are such a treat for me to have! The Peanut Butter Extreme does have a bit of a...vitamin-y aftertaste. Like it tastes like an energy bar loaded with vitamins. Which, I guess, that's what it is...but the Peanut Butter Chocolate one does NOT have that taste at all and I LOVE them so much! I usually buy a mix of both because my store doesn't always have enough of the one to tide me over for two weeks. I guess I'm not the only one that loves them!
As I said, I eat one after my workout, for breakfast. Then I have a Slim Fast Shake for lunch, and a small plate of what every one else is eating for dinner. I do also have 2-3 snacks in between....I don't buy the Slim-Fast snacks only because I didn't know they had them when I went out and bought a stupid amount of snacks last month from my local Grocery Outlet. I'm not even sure if my local stores carry a decent variety of their snacks. But I do try to keep the snacks between less than 100 calories and no more than 170 calories. Usually, I'm pretty good at keeping them around the 100 calorie mark or less.
I was debating on if I should upload pictures of my meals, to hold myself accountable, with each weekly update. Not completely sure yet if I will or not...just depends on how busy I get in the weeks ahead. I'll try to start tomorrow, since I'm technically halfway through my day meal-wise today.
Sorry if this entry sounds a little...scattered. Between the sleep throwing me off, the weekend I had, and trying to get back into a rhythm today, my brain is just not all there. Hopefully next week's entry will sound a bit more not so scattered.
Until Next Time,
~Mama Jenn
Sorry for not writing last week. My computer got a virus and was down for the count until I could figure out how to get rid of it.
I can't believe I'm on week 6 already. Don't get me wrong- I am feeling it. This is the week where, in previous attempts, I usually make this a habit or give up and quit.
I won't lie- this morning was tough. I overslept, Hubby and I didn't work out together this weekend, we didn't get enough sleep pretty much all weekend. I tried to keep portions in check, but Friday? I have no explanation for Friday except "chaos". I see now I can't just eat whatever anymore and assume it won't affect me. I was sluggish all weekend and the food wasn't even worth it.
Today, I did my 45 minute workout, but it took everything within me to complete it. I had totally skipped my Friday Freak Clean Session(cleaning my whole house in 2-3 hours like a mad woman). So, today, I am trying to get back into my workout routine AND trying to play catch-up on getting my house clean.And yes, cleaning your house counts as a workout. No wonder most women in Stepford are so thin, LOL.
Otherwise, last week, I did really good. God was really helping me to resist(up until Friday, anyways...but again, that's my fault). I had actually pushed myself to go from working out 45 minutes to 1 hour! I also got over my "ten pound slump". My "ten pound slump" is what happens to me once I lose 10 pounds...I stop losing for a bit. Last time I had attempted this, I stopped trying and quit. This time, though, I pushed myself to go harder workout-wise...and it paid off! I lost 3 pounds!
 |
As I said, I eat one after my workout, for breakfast. Then I have a Slim Fast Shake for lunch, and a small plate of what every one else is eating for dinner. I do also have 2-3 snacks in between....I don't buy the Slim-Fast snacks only because I didn't know they had them when I went out and bought a stupid amount of snacks last month from my local Grocery Outlet. I'm not even sure if my local stores carry a decent variety of their snacks. But I do try to keep the snacks between less than 100 calories and no more than 170 calories. Usually, I'm pretty good at keeping them around the 100 calorie mark or less.
I was debating on if I should upload pictures of my meals, to hold myself accountable, with each weekly update. Not completely sure yet if I will or not...just depends on how busy I get in the weeks ahead. I'll try to start tomorrow, since I'm technically halfway through my day meal-wise today.
Sorry if this entry sounds a little...scattered. Between the sleep throwing me off, the weekend I had, and trying to get back into a rhythm today, my brain is just not all there. Hopefully next week's entry will sound a bit more not so scattered.
Until Next Time,
~Mama Jenn
Monday, July 25, 2016
Dieting Progress, Week 4
Greetings, Chaotics!
Last week, I mentioned how my unwelcome visitor decided to drop by, how I ran out of my beloved Garcinia Cambogia; and how I wasn't fully sure that between these two events if I'd be able to stay on course.
Well, I'm pleased to say I came out of the week not completely caving in. Usually, when my unwelcome visitor makes its arrival, it's usually the undoing of me diet-wise. My inner fat girl comes plowing through, like a locomotive on a mission and gosh-darn it the girl is HANGRY. She sticks around a few days, like a tornado, swallowing up everything that is edible, covered in chocolate, or salty. Then she departs and I'm left, like a tornado victim, crying for a few days but mostly trying to pick up the pieces of her destruction(usually chocolate bar wrappers that I discarded along the house as I secretly tried to eat it ever so carefully so the kids wouldn't hear it).
This round, however, it wasn't so bad. Yes, I did have one day where I just could NOT work out(I was downright weary, y'all), but overall, I mostly stayed under or about calorie budget for a week and forced myself to workout. I actually got upset at myself for not being able to workout on Wednesday, and I did try for about 10 minutes before shedding tears in frustration at how tired my body felt. I did not religiously adhere to my Slim Fast Plan every single day, but I did try to keep my portions as small as I could. I didn't stuff myself, I actually found myself still stopping sooner than usual because I felt like my body was saying, "okay, that's enough.".
But I did have a bit of an emotional moment that I wasn't planning on. On Wednesday, I was sitting at the table with my kids as they ate lunch. At this point, they are somewhat used to seeing me with just a glass of Slim Fast while they have something else, but every so often, one of them will try to say something or ask why I'm still just "drinking" my lunch. Anyway, Wednesday was just a bad day overall. The kids were eating a ham and cheese sandwich, and I wanted one SO. BAD. My oldest thought it wasn't fair I got "chocolate milk" for lunch(even though I've told her it doesn't taste much like real chocolate milk), and asked if she could try a sip in exchange for a bite of her sandwich. She kept taunting me, saying, "You know you want it!" and finally, I caved in and we swapped a bite for a sip. She wanted more, but it was that moment that I realized how much she has been making fun of my efforts to lose weight...not just today, but since I started. I closed my eyes and said something I had seen on a community board on Lose It!, "If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over again?" She just sort of snickered and said, "Mom, just have a sandwich, it's JUST a sandwich!" I don't know why, but I sort of snapped. I looked her square in the eye and said, "Solstice, my mother died when I was 13. She was 49. My dad died when I was 22, he was 58. I am not doing this just to be skinny. This isn't something I'm doing just to torture myself. I just turned 30, and I really don't want to think of my life as, according to family genetics, as half way over. I'd really like to outlive my parents and be able to see you guys grow up and see my grandchildren.I would like to see you past the age of 14 if I can help it so just KNOCK IT OFF, OKAY?!". She just looked down, slightly smirking, and I said, "I'm serious Solstice! I'd like to NOT DIE next year and I AM trying to be healthier not just for myself but for YOU AND YOUR SIBLINGS so get that goofy grin off your face!" She didn't say anything and just finished her food. After I cooled off a bit, I did go back and apologize because I did realize that this is kind of strong for a 12-year-old to process. She simply said, "No, mom, you're right....I shouldn't be making fun of you for this." I posted it on Lose It! and everyone said I did the right thing. I still felt a bit bad spewing my mouth like that at her, though.
My husband came home later than usual Friday. I told him in that argument I posted about awhile ago that I WILL NOT pressure him to work out, or be healthier. So, I had half-expected him not to remember anything about his last week's "I need to workout!" speech. But he surprised me! As we went to bed, he said, "Are you going to set your alarm so we can workout tomorrow?". Then on Sunday, he told the kids we HAD to be done with Family Movie Night at 9 so that "He and Mama could work out."
Can you SEE my jaw on the floor?! No? Well, just pretend you do, okay?
We did one workout that was tough even for me on Saturday, and the Leslie Sansone one mile walk on Sunday night. I got a little sad over Sunday, though...I was feeling a bit lazy(I'm not used to working out at night), so that's why I opted for the 1 mile instead of the 3. I felt kind of bad because I didn't sweat at all. Papa thought it would be funny to chase me around the bedroom trying to give me HIS sweat. It's days like these that I remember why I married that man.
Today, I woke up feeling sad and sluggish. Papa got an extra day home, so he had to leave today instead of his usual Sunday afternoon...but that didn't make his leaving any better to bear :( Also, I had just worked out before bed...although not my usual intensity, it was still a workout and I was still a bit tired after the fact.
My son and youngest daughter had asked last night if they could join me today, so I asked them if they wanted to join me, and they did for about 20-30 minutes, before going back to bed. I was just happy to hear their chatter as I worked out.
A little while later, my daughter came out of bed and for some reason, decided to weigh herself on my new scale. I finally bought a digital scale...even though I hadn't met my goal weight to do it, yet. It was mostly because I was sick and tired of having to use my phone to zoom in and see which little line it was telling me I weighed. Anyways, she wanted to weigh herself on the new scale. When she saw exactly how much she weighed, she moaned and looked like she was going to cry. She said, "Maybe I need to start watching what I eat and stuff like you do.". I was trying hard to not automatically think the worse, seeing as I'm a person that has struggled, then tried to embrace, and am currently working on, my weight. So, I said, "let's get some more information...maybe you're right where you need to be, or maybe you just need to play or exercise more, I'm not sure." So, we googled how to determine what her weight should be for her age and height, and she is a bit(not much!) off of where she should be roughly. I told her if she wants to try to lose a few pounds, I won't stop her. I also said if she needs help, since no one ever really taught me at her age, that I'd be willing to help. But the actual commitment part will be all her. Just like with my husband, I said I'm not going to nag her or question what or how much she's doing...which is hard for me! She said she wanted to give it a try, we looked on Lose It! to see how long it should take her to safely lose a few pounds, and then set a time frame for her to do it. She looked at me and said, "Wow, I could finally have the body I thought I'd only get in Heaven! The body I always dreamed of!".
A part of me wants to be proud she's taking this step, but the more sensitive part of me wants to tell her that it's just a number....but then I recall how cruel kids were to me when I was her age(yes, she is the EXACT same weight I was at her age). I know that she's had some confidence issues since starting puberty. I know she's joked about her weight, about how much she eats...and I know I used to do that too. But, "to every jest there's a shred of truth", and I know if my mom had shown even a tiny bit of interest in me trying to get to a healthy weight, I would have grabbed it for all it was worth. So, I told her my suggestions to help her get started, I told her not to get too crazy over it...losing weight, no matter if it's 1 pound or 2,000 pounds...takes time and energy and effort. That even if she doesn't get to what the internet says is "her healthy weight", that she's still her and as long as she's comfortable in her own skin, that's all that matters. I gave her a notebook to record her thoughts, log in her food, and her weight into. I also thought a reward would be in order....so, I told her, for every so many pounds she lost, she'd get a book of her choosing. Her goal is 2 books. She wrote in her notebook and asked to look on Youtube for a more "hip"(well, "Not as mom-ish" were her exact words) workout for her to do later.
So, even though I'm feeling a bit "blah" today, I'm still really, really happy. My husband worked out five times in the past two weeks(he also cleared our land of weeds on Saturday afternoon, which, according to Lose It! counts as a workout). He also lost a few pounds since he went to the doctor a month ago! Also, my daughter is excited to try to get healthy and eat more sensible portions. I can't help but thank God for the changes I have seen in them over the past two weeks!
As for my own progress....I have lost weight!
Starting Weight- 210(ish?) pounds
Current Weight- 200.8 pounds
Not to toot my own horn, but.....*Toots own horn* !!! Yay!!!!
My goal is to ultimately get back down to my high school before I became a teen mom...130-150. I'd really like to just get down to 150, but my thinnest was 135, so we'll see!
What about you? What are some goals you guys have set, weight or otherwise? I'd love to hear about it!
Until Next Time,
~ Mama Jenn
Last week, I mentioned how my unwelcome visitor decided to drop by, how I ran out of my beloved Garcinia Cambogia; and how I wasn't fully sure that between these two events if I'd be able to stay on course.
Well, I'm pleased to say I came out of the week not completely caving in. Usually, when my unwelcome visitor makes its arrival, it's usually the undoing of me diet-wise. My inner fat girl comes plowing through, like a locomotive on a mission and gosh-darn it the girl is HANGRY. She sticks around a few days, like a tornado, swallowing up everything that is edible, covered in chocolate, or salty. Then she departs and I'm left, like a tornado victim, crying for a few days but mostly trying to pick up the pieces of her destruction(usually chocolate bar wrappers that I discarded along the house as I secretly tried to eat it ever so carefully so the kids wouldn't hear it).
This round, however, it wasn't so bad. Yes, I did have one day where I just could NOT work out(I was downright weary, y'all), but overall, I mostly stayed under or about calorie budget for a week and forced myself to workout. I actually got upset at myself for not being able to workout on Wednesday, and I did try for about 10 minutes before shedding tears in frustration at how tired my body felt. I did not religiously adhere to my Slim Fast Plan every single day, but I did try to keep my portions as small as I could. I didn't stuff myself, I actually found myself still stopping sooner than usual because I felt like my body was saying, "okay, that's enough.".
But I did have a bit of an emotional moment that I wasn't planning on. On Wednesday, I was sitting at the table with my kids as they ate lunch. At this point, they are somewhat used to seeing me with just a glass of Slim Fast while they have something else, but every so often, one of them will try to say something or ask why I'm still just "drinking" my lunch. Anyway, Wednesday was just a bad day overall. The kids were eating a ham and cheese sandwich, and I wanted one SO. BAD. My oldest thought it wasn't fair I got "chocolate milk" for lunch(even though I've told her it doesn't taste much like real chocolate milk), and asked if she could try a sip in exchange for a bite of her sandwich. She kept taunting me, saying, "You know you want it!" and finally, I caved in and we swapped a bite for a sip. She wanted more, but it was that moment that I realized how much she has been making fun of my efforts to lose weight...not just today, but since I started. I closed my eyes and said something I had seen on a community board on Lose It!, "If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over again?" She just sort of snickered and said, "Mom, just have a sandwich, it's JUST a sandwich!" I don't know why, but I sort of snapped. I looked her square in the eye and said, "Solstice, my mother died when I was 13. She was 49. My dad died when I was 22, he was 58. I am not doing this just to be skinny. This isn't something I'm doing just to torture myself. I just turned 30, and I really don't want to think of my life as, according to family genetics, as half way over. I'd really like to outlive my parents and be able to see you guys grow up and see my grandchildren.I would like to see you past the age of 14 if I can help it so just KNOCK IT OFF, OKAY?!". She just looked down, slightly smirking, and I said, "I'm serious Solstice! I'd like to NOT DIE next year and I AM trying to be healthier not just for myself but for YOU AND YOUR SIBLINGS so get that goofy grin off your face!" She didn't say anything and just finished her food. After I cooled off a bit, I did go back and apologize because I did realize that this is kind of strong for a 12-year-old to process. She simply said, "No, mom, you're right....I shouldn't be making fun of you for this." I posted it on Lose It! and everyone said I did the right thing. I still felt a bit bad spewing my mouth like that at her, though.
My husband came home later than usual Friday. I told him in that argument I posted about awhile ago that I WILL NOT pressure him to work out, or be healthier. So, I had half-expected him not to remember anything about his last week's "I need to workout!" speech. But he surprised me! As we went to bed, he said, "Are you going to set your alarm so we can workout tomorrow?". Then on Sunday, he told the kids we HAD to be done with Family Movie Night at 9 so that "He and Mama could work out."
Can you SEE my jaw on the floor?! No? Well, just pretend you do, okay?
We did one workout that was tough even for me on Saturday, and the Leslie Sansone one mile walk on Sunday night. I got a little sad over Sunday, though...I was feeling a bit lazy(I'm not used to working out at night), so that's why I opted for the 1 mile instead of the 3. I felt kind of bad because I didn't sweat at all. Papa thought it would be funny to chase me around the bedroom trying to give me HIS sweat. It's days like these that I remember why I married that man.
Today, I woke up feeling sad and sluggish. Papa got an extra day home, so he had to leave today instead of his usual Sunday afternoon...but that didn't make his leaving any better to bear :( Also, I had just worked out before bed...although not my usual intensity, it was still a workout and I was still a bit tired after the fact.
My son and youngest daughter had asked last night if they could join me today, so I asked them if they wanted to join me, and they did for about 20-30 minutes, before going back to bed. I was just happy to hear their chatter as I worked out.
A little while later, my daughter came out of bed and for some reason, decided to weigh herself on my new scale. I finally bought a digital scale...even though I hadn't met my goal weight to do it, yet. It was mostly because I was sick and tired of having to use my phone to zoom in and see which little line it was telling me I weighed. Anyways, she wanted to weigh herself on the new scale. When she saw exactly how much she weighed, she moaned and looked like she was going to cry. She said, "Maybe I need to start watching what I eat and stuff like you do.". I was trying hard to not automatically think the worse, seeing as I'm a person that has struggled, then tried to embrace, and am currently working on, my weight. So, I said, "let's get some more information...maybe you're right where you need to be, or maybe you just need to play or exercise more, I'm not sure." So, we googled how to determine what her weight should be for her age and height, and she is a bit(not much!) off of where she should be roughly. I told her if she wants to try to lose a few pounds, I won't stop her. I also said if she needs help, since no one ever really taught me at her age, that I'd be willing to help. But the actual commitment part will be all her. Just like with my husband, I said I'm not going to nag her or question what or how much she's doing...which is hard for me! She said she wanted to give it a try, we looked on Lose It! to see how long it should take her to safely lose a few pounds, and then set a time frame for her to do it. She looked at me and said, "Wow, I could finally have the body I thought I'd only get in Heaven! The body I always dreamed of!".
A part of me wants to be proud she's taking this step, but the more sensitive part of me wants to tell her that it's just a number....but then I recall how cruel kids were to me when I was her age(yes, she is the EXACT same weight I was at her age). I know that she's had some confidence issues since starting puberty. I know she's joked about her weight, about how much she eats...and I know I used to do that too. But, "to every jest there's a shred of truth", and I know if my mom had shown even a tiny bit of interest in me trying to get to a healthy weight, I would have grabbed it for all it was worth. So, I told her my suggestions to help her get started, I told her not to get too crazy over it...losing weight, no matter if it's 1 pound or 2,000 pounds...takes time and energy and effort. That even if she doesn't get to what the internet says is "her healthy weight", that she's still her and as long as she's comfortable in her own skin, that's all that matters. I gave her a notebook to record her thoughts, log in her food, and her weight into. I also thought a reward would be in order....so, I told her, for every so many pounds she lost, she'd get a book of her choosing. Her goal is 2 books. She wrote in her notebook and asked to look on Youtube for a more "hip"(well, "Not as mom-ish" were her exact words) workout for her to do later.
So, even though I'm feeling a bit "blah" today, I'm still really, really happy. My husband worked out five times in the past two weeks(he also cleared our land of weeds on Saturday afternoon, which, according to Lose It! counts as a workout). He also lost a few pounds since he went to the doctor a month ago! Also, my daughter is excited to try to get healthy and eat more sensible portions. I can't help but thank God for the changes I have seen in them over the past two weeks!
As for my own progress....I have lost weight!
Starting Weight- 210(ish?) pounds
Current Weight- 200.8 pounds
Not to toot my own horn, but.....*Toots own horn* !!! Yay!!!!
My goal is to ultimately get back down to my high school before I became a teen mom...130-150. I'd really like to just get down to 150, but my thinnest was 135, so we'll see!
What about you? What are some goals you guys have set, weight or otherwise? I'd love to hear about it!
Until Next Time,
~ Mama Jenn
Monday, July 18, 2016
Dieting Progress, Week 3
Greetings, Chaotics!
I'm a little worried about this week, and I have some good news.
First off, the good news-
My oldest had started ASKING for the Leslie Sansone 1 mile workout. That is GREAT NEWS to me, because, I usually have to beg her to workout with me, and she'd usually quit halfway.
Friday, I wasn't sure if she was trying to get out of going outside with her siblings or what, but she suddenly was begging me, "Can we PLEASE do the one-mile happy walk now? I REALLY want to do it!!! PLEASE???". And even though I had got through two hours of house cleaning to prepare the home for hubby's arrival and was BEAT, I still managed to walk my way to a mile with her. My son joined in, too!
Second, after an...event of sorts, my husband got mad at himself and said, "I can't do this anymore! I'm getting too fat for this! We're working out on Saturdays and Sundays together! Got it?!" :D :D :D
I nearly fell off the bed! I had been begging my husband to join me but after seeing his less than enthusiastic response repeatedly, I quit trying(remember that "I got mad" post...two posts ago?). And guess what? We did workout this weekend! He did grumble at first on Sunday, after a horribleday two weekends of trying to install my water pump on my car. I'm talking the law of craptastic was hitting him full-force on this! I wanted to help, and jumped in when he asked me to do something, but other than cleaning this part or adding goop to that part, it was really all on him to do. So, I was half-expecting him to not want to work out on Sunday. I woke him up, and his first response was, "Are you kidding me? I don't want to do ANYTHING today!" But then as he woke up a bit more, "I don't FEEL like doing this....".
Moments later, "Well, maybe. I'm still sore. I dunno..."
Finally, "Okay, fine. But it's going to have to be an easy and quick work out!"
I didn't say anything during this verbal battle he had with himself. One of the greatest things being Stepford has taught me thus far is sometimes, just to zip my lips and saying nothing when I want to say something potentially destructive most times yields the greatest response out of my husband! ;)
So, I had pushed myself a bit more last week because of others around me! I was only expecting to do four days worth of working out, and a few hours of intense cleaning the 5th day(hey, it counts as a workout! I checked!) , and instead did SEVEN DAYS of working out AND a few hours of intense cleaning!
Also, my scale isn't giving me the go-around as much...my first week, my weight kept fluctuating on their between 210 and 205. I don't know it kept doing that, but halfway through last week, it finally started to find a happy medium between 204 and 205, depending on the time of day. So, yay! It's still progress towards 200!
Now the things I'm worried about....
I don't have my Garcinia Cambogia! :( I ran out on Friday and was expecting to go get some...but because of the water pumps(yes, there was more than two involved in this transaction!) and the law of craptastic, I wasn't able to get out to the store I went to get it. I'll be able to get some on Friday, but until then, I'm hoping to sike myself out a little by just drinking the tea without it and hoping I won't be chowing down like I'm not on a diet.
At first, I thought well, my stepmother said it can stick in your system for a bit even after you stop taking it, so I should be okay, right?
But then....
I got my unwelcome friend!
*cue sobbing hysterically*
Now I have NO IDEA how this week is going to pan out! I'm hoping that what my stepmother said will work out in my favor. After all, I did have my last one on Friday....and Saturday, I did have a hard time even trying to eat my usual "YOLO" day breakfast(cheddar cheese bagel, cheesy scrambled egg, and a piece of pork...this week, it was cheddar wurst). I ended up eating only half over breakfast, and the other half later in the day as a late lunch. While getting another water pump, hubby and I decided that we should make it a mini-date since there's a Wendy's next to the auto parts store...so we got small Frosty's and I ordered a small fry...only to end up sharing that with him, because I couldn't eat it all. And yesterday, I got a little sick after eating 3/4 c. of ice cream in honor of National Ice Cream day ....but that may have been my unwelcome friend announcing its arrival, I'm not sure yet.
We shall see!
This week, I'm going to try to do another Leslie Sansone Workout, this time, a 45 minute, 3 miles one. After finding her 1-mile happy walk, I started doing it twice a day in addition to a 20 minute Richard Simmons workout anyways, I think it won't be pushing myself too much to just do her for 45 minutes instead of her and Richard...right? Here's hoping!
Also, if y'all happen to be on Lose It! and want to add me as a friend, my e-mail to find me is mamajen456@gmail.com
Here's to another(hopefully) good week of scale and non-scale progress!
Until Next Time,
~Mama Jenn
I'm a little worried about this week, and I have some good news.
First off, the good news-
My oldest had started ASKING for the Leslie Sansone 1 mile workout. That is GREAT NEWS to me, because, I usually have to beg her to workout with me, and she'd usually quit halfway.
Friday, I wasn't sure if she was trying to get out of going outside with her siblings or what, but she suddenly was begging me, "Can we PLEASE do the one-mile happy walk now? I REALLY want to do it!!! PLEASE???". And even though I had got through two hours of house cleaning to prepare the home for hubby's arrival and was BEAT, I still managed to walk my way to a mile with her. My son joined in, too!
Second, after an...event of sorts, my husband got mad at himself and said, "I can't do this anymore! I'm getting too fat for this! We're working out on Saturdays and Sundays together! Got it?!" :D :D :D
I nearly fell off the bed! I had been begging my husband to join me but after seeing his less than enthusiastic response repeatedly, I quit trying(remember that "I got mad" post...two posts ago?). And guess what? We did workout this weekend! He did grumble at first on Sunday, after a horrible
Moments later, "Well, maybe. I'm still sore. I dunno..."
Finally, "Okay, fine. But it's going to have to be an easy and quick work out!"
I didn't say anything during this verbal battle he had with himself. One of the greatest things being Stepford has taught me thus far is sometimes, just to zip my lips and saying nothing when I want to say something potentially destructive most times yields the greatest response out of my husband! ;)
So, I had pushed myself a bit more last week because of others around me! I was only expecting to do four days worth of working out, and a few hours of intense cleaning the 5th day(hey, it counts as a workout! I checked!) , and instead did SEVEN DAYS of working out AND a few hours of intense cleaning!
Also, my scale isn't giving me the go-around as much...my first week, my weight kept fluctuating on their between 210 and 205. I don't know it kept doing that, but halfway through last week, it finally started to find a happy medium between 204 and 205, depending on the time of day. So, yay! It's still progress towards 200!
Now the things I'm worried about....
I don't have my Garcinia Cambogia! :( I ran out on Friday and was expecting to go get some...but because of the water pumps(yes, there was more than two involved in this transaction!) and the law of craptastic, I wasn't able to get out to the store I went to get it. I'll be able to get some on Friday, but until then, I'm hoping to sike myself out a little by just drinking the tea without it and hoping I won't be chowing down like I'm not on a diet.
At first, I thought well, my stepmother said it can stick in your system for a bit even after you stop taking it, so I should be okay, right?
But then....
I got my unwelcome friend!
*cue sobbing hysterically*
Now I have NO IDEA how this week is going to pan out! I'm hoping that what my stepmother said will work out in my favor. After all, I did have my last one on Friday....and Saturday, I did have a hard time even trying to eat my usual "YOLO" day breakfast(cheddar cheese bagel, cheesy scrambled egg, and a piece of pork...this week, it was cheddar wurst). I ended up eating only half over breakfast, and the other half later in the day as a late lunch. While getting another water pump, hubby and I decided that we should make it a mini-date since there's a Wendy's next to the auto parts store...so we got small Frosty's and I ordered a small fry...only to end up sharing that with him, because I couldn't eat it all. And yesterday, I got a little sick after eating 3/4 c. of ice cream in honor of National Ice Cream day ....but that may have been my unwelcome friend announcing its arrival, I'm not sure yet.
We shall see!
This week, I'm going to try to do another Leslie Sansone Workout, this time, a 45 minute, 3 miles one. After finding her 1-mile happy walk, I started doing it twice a day in addition to a 20 minute Richard Simmons workout anyways, I think it won't be pushing myself too much to just do her for 45 minutes instead of her and Richard...right? Here's hoping!
Also, if y'all happen to be on Lose It! and want to add me as a friend, my e-mail to find me is mamajen456@gmail.com
Here's to another(hopefully) good week of scale and non-scale progress!
Until Next Time,
~Mama Jenn
Tuesday, July 12, 2016
Dieting Progress, Week 2
Greetings, Chaotics!
Remember my last post where I said I enjoyed dieting and exercising?
Well...I still do. Sort of.
I don't know if there's such a thing as a two week slump when it comes to dieting and losing weight. But after a not-so-good weekend(or two, who am I kidding), I'm starting to feel a bit out of sorts with myself. I enjoy the whole not eating until I feel like a whale washed up on shore thing. I really don't miss feeling stuffed and bloated because I tried to compete with my husband. And with the Garcinia Cambogia, I don't have that "Everybody shut up because Mama is HANGRY" type-feeling as bad as I did trying to do this without it.
I did have a possible episode of it this weekend, but honestly, I still don't know if I can account it to being hungry as much as I can account it to...possibly overworking myself and just wanting a cheeseburger and fries.
It really IS a weird feeling. I am not hungry. My stomach isn't growling. It's just....the smell of food, tho.
I can't explain it. It's like, as soon as I smell something good, I want it, but then, when the smell goes away, so does my desire for it...eventually.
My inner fat girl (pep?) talks have went something like this-
*smells onion rings while driving by a restaurant(don't ask how I can distinguish this from all the many smells that come from driving by a restaurant)*
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Onion Rings!"
*Starts drooling*
"Wait, do I really WANT onion rings?"
*Wipes mouth, internally silences herself to feel if she's hungry*
*realizes she is not physically hungry*
"But...onion rings! No, no, I'm not hungry. I just want them because of the smell.Right?"
*nods to herself*
"But those onion rings smell AMAZING, though!"
"No, no....I am not hungry for them. I don't...but they smell...but I don't...."
*light changes, I drive past said restaurant*
A few miles later...
"See? You weren't hungry. You were just craving it due to the smell."
*Fist bumps self*
"But....if I could be left alone in a dark alley with one of those onion rings..."
"Jenn, shut up. Those onion rings cost more calories than you workout in a day. JUST SHUT UP."
"Okay, okay. I'm not HUNGRY for an onion ring.Plus, the weight loss gurus would NOT approve."
See what I mean? It's weird.
Not the talking to myself, because, y'all know I do that more often than I care to admit. But the sensation. The craving sans not being hungry thing. It's always been both, at the same time and now it's just one and I feel weird. Anyone else know what I'm talking about?
I've also had to be a bit more mindful about my water consumption. The first week, I started to realize I was feeling...off. Several times, I felt like a headache that was drowning in my brain space was forming. I did google it, and apparently, there is a such thing as drinking too much water too fast. Granted, a gallon isn't a ton or anything. But for someone who usually drank maybe five or six cups of water on a good day....a gallon mostly by noontime was a bit too much too fast. I reduced my water consumption goal to either a half gallon to three quarters of a gallon and have to force myself to space it out all through the day. Most days, I can still get in a gallon by the end of the day without thinking about it, but if I don't, I won't beat myself up
over it. But, so far, the only day I really tend to not get a full gallon is on my cheat day(s).
I have started to be a bit more aware of how to better spend my workout time. Yes, I love me some yoga, and I probably will do it from time to time, but it seemed like a waste to do it for almost an hour and, according to the LoseIt! App for my height and weight to only burn 100-ish calories.That's not even enough to burn off my cup of yogurt I have everyday. So, I switched it up last week and this week. I started doing Richard Simmons dance workouts, and then yesterday, I found Leslie Sansone. Which, after doing the workout, realized my stepmother had suggested a DVD of hers when we talked about weight loss last....weird, I know. The even weirder thing? I had my kids join me yesterday for Leslie's 15 minute walk routine, and my oldest(who, is becoming more and more like my husband when it comes to the idea of working out) actually said she enjoyed it! :O Fist bump to Leslie!
I did try a full length(1 hour) Richard Simmons workout with her last week, but she said it felt weird doing a dance workout with a man shimmying on the screen, so she stopped half way through. I guess Richard isn't for everyone, but I am certainly loving his passion this week!
With all this said, even though I kind of messed up on the weekend, I still managed to lose a pound! Go me!
I also decided that once I reach my 200 pound mark, I'm going to buy a digital scale(because having to zoom into my phone just to see where it's indicating on my current scale is getting old), and one small thing for me...maybe...not sure what it's going to be yet, though. I'll post pictures when I reach this milestone and get both.
Anyone else out there trying a new workout, a new meal plan? If so, I'd love to hear about it!
Until Next Time,
~ Mama Jenn
Remember my last post where I said I enjoyed dieting and exercising?
Well...I still do. Sort of.
I don't know if there's such a thing as a two week slump when it comes to dieting and losing weight. But after a not-so-good weekend(or two, who am I kidding), I'm starting to feel a bit out of sorts with myself. I enjoy the whole not eating until I feel like a whale washed up on shore thing. I really don't miss feeling stuffed and bloated because I tried to compete with my husband. And with the Garcinia Cambogia, I don't have that "Everybody shut up because Mama is HANGRY" type-feeling as bad as I did trying to do this without it.
I did have a possible episode of it this weekend, but honestly, I still don't know if I can account it to being hungry as much as I can account it to...possibly overworking myself and just wanting a cheeseburger and fries.
It really IS a weird feeling. I am not hungry. My stomach isn't growling. It's just....the smell of food, tho.
I can't explain it. It's like, as soon as I smell something good, I want it, but then, when the smell goes away, so does my desire for it...eventually.
My inner fat girl (pep?) talks have went something like this-
*smells onion rings while driving by a restaurant(don't ask how I can distinguish this from all the many smells that come from driving by a restaurant)*
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Onion Rings!"
*Starts drooling*
"Wait, do I really WANT onion rings?"
*Wipes mouth, internally silences herself to feel if she's hungry*
*realizes she is not physically hungry*
"But...onion rings! No, no, I'm not hungry. I just want them because of the smell.Right?"
*nods to herself*
"But those onion rings smell AMAZING, though!"
"No, no....I am not hungry for them. I don't...but they smell...but I don't...."
*light changes, I drive past said restaurant*
A few miles later...
"See? You weren't hungry. You were just craving it due to the smell."
*Fist bumps self*
"But....if I could be left alone in a dark alley with one of those onion rings..."
"Jenn, shut up. Those onion rings cost more calories than you workout in a day. JUST SHUT UP."
"Okay, okay. I'm not HUNGRY for an onion ring.Plus, the weight loss gurus would NOT approve."
See what I mean? It's weird.
Not the talking to myself, because, y'all know I do that more often than I care to admit. But the sensation. The craving sans not being hungry thing. It's always been both, at the same time and now it's just one and I feel weird. Anyone else know what I'm talking about?
I've also had to be a bit more mindful about my water consumption. The first week, I started to realize I was feeling...off. Several times, I felt like a headache that was drowning in my brain space was forming. I did google it, and apparently, there is a such thing as drinking too much water too fast. Granted, a gallon isn't a ton or anything. But for someone who usually drank maybe five or six cups of water on a good day....a gallon mostly by noontime was a bit too much too fast. I reduced my water consumption goal to either a half gallon to three quarters of a gallon and have to force myself to space it out all through the day. Most days, I can still get in a gallon by the end of the day without thinking about it, but if I don't, I won't beat myself up
over it. But, so far, the only day I really tend to not get a full gallon is on my cheat day(s).
I have started to be a bit more aware of how to better spend my workout time. Yes, I love me some yoga, and I probably will do it from time to time, but it seemed like a waste to do it for almost an hour and, according to the LoseIt! App for my height and weight to only burn 100-ish calories.That's not even enough to burn off my cup of yogurt I have everyday. So, I switched it up last week and this week. I started doing Richard Simmons dance workouts, and then yesterday, I found Leslie Sansone. Which, after doing the workout, realized my stepmother had suggested a DVD of hers when we talked about weight loss last....weird, I know. The even weirder thing? I had my kids join me yesterday for Leslie's 15 minute walk routine, and my oldest(who, is becoming more and more like my husband when it comes to the idea of working out) actually said she enjoyed it! :O Fist bump to Leslie!
I did try a full length(1 hour) Richard Simmons workout with her last week, but she said it felt weird doing a dance workout with a man shimmying on the screen, so she stopped half way through. I guess Richard isn't for everyone, but I am certainly loving his passion this week!
With all this said, even though I kind of messed up on the weekend, I still managed to lose a pound! Go me!
I also decided that once I reach my 200 pound mark, I'm going to buy a digital scale(because having to zoom into my phone just to see where it's indicating on my current scale is getting old), and one small thing for me...maybe...not sure what it's going to be yet, though. I'll post pictures when I reach this milestone and get both.
Anyone else out there trying a new workout, a new meal plan? If so, I'd love to hear about it!
Until Next Time,
~ Mama Jenn
Friday, July 1, 2016
Stepford Chronicles- Dieting for My Husband's Sake But Mostly My Own
Greetings, Chaotics!
Okay, I have something to confess.
It may come as a surprise to some.
Are you sitting down for this?
Okay....*deep breath*....
I have to confess...
that...
well....
I may or may not actually enjoy working out, and I'm dieting again...and I may or may not be liking that, too.
Are you going to be okay hearing this news?
That's not a representative of the Fat Girls Motorcyclycle Club in the back, ready to revoke my membership, is it?
No, I don't need a bar of chocolate, I haven't lost my mind.
I think.
Okay, in all seriousness....yes, I am watching my calories and I'm exercising. Remember my last post here and my YouTube video here? Well, I thought I wasn't going to "do one of those crazy diets" like I said in another video. I was going to try and just eat real foods, because that worked so well for me a few years back when I went from my biggest weight- 220 lbs.- to something that didn't make my skin feel like it was about to explode- 198-200-ish(depending on the day and how much chocolate may or may not of been consumed). I thought it would work like last time, because, hey, I lost weight and ate better and worked out and everything was awesome and unicorns and glitter and all that jazz, am I right?
Except...my husband.
You see, as much as I hate to admit this, but there's a fat person code. It's out there, it's unspoken, and yes, whether you acknowledge it or not, if you are fat, you do abide by most of its unspoken rules.
What kind of rules, you ask? Well, depending on your region of the country, the wording may vary. The top two rules that I break are-
1. If you give me food, I will pretty much eat it.
and...
2. If there is another fat person in the same room as you as you eat, and they tend to eat more than you do, and you see this, you will try to self-consciously compete with them by forcing yourself to eat as much or more as they do. And if they eat faster than you do, then guess what? Pretty soon that casual eating experience starts to look like two sumo wrestlers at a food eating competition. Except no one wins. Except maybe the indigestion product companies.
I have concluded that my husband has become my supplier. Just like a crack addict meeting theirs in a back alley somewhere, my husband will arrive in the shadows of the night(because, hey, he's a truck driver and he's never guaranteed home at any day or hour), and I will meet him at a semi-private location(the kitchen). I will pace around frantically and with slight jitters to physically show that I need "the goods" and "I'm starting to have withdrawal symptoms". He will look around nervously to see that the food cops(i.e., my kids) aren't lurking around the corner, ready to do a seize on the goods. When there is no sign of the coppers and traffic around us is relatively still(i.e., the kids are on devices or watching TV), then he will either deliver the goods from a bag hidden in a special location(his coat pocket, his back pocket, behind his back, or his meal bag). I will glance around nervously to see if anyone detected the noise of said bag being opened/ moved, and he will either place it in my hand while kissing me, or he will quickly drop it at a pre-disclosed and agreed upon location for me to pick up later(the freezer). We will then exchange payment if we haven't done so already(a kiss), and then go our separate ways out of the kitchen, one at a time so as not to look conspicuous, and then we return about our normal duties.
What is this my husband is supplying me? Is it crack? Speed? Dope?
Nope. It's his weekly offering of chocolate.
Also, when he gets home, it's like that Bible story of the prodigal son. You know, the son leaves his father's home, spends his inheritance, becomes poor, contemplates eating pig food before thinking, oh, hey, maybe I should just go home and become a servant for my dad so at least I won't have to eat this crap. So, he returns, and much to his surprise, his father welcomes him with open arms, kills the fattened calf, and they have this big par-tay, because, hey, what once was lost has now been found!
Except that, it's my husband. He leaves the home every week, in his church clothes, gets super dirty doing truck driver related things, contemplates eating pig food(I mean, gas station food), before realizing, oh, hey, it's almost time to go back home to my wife and kids. And then he arrives on my door, the smell of diesel fuel and cigarettes still lingering a bit on him. Much to his surprise, his wife and children are there to greet him, welcoming him with open arms....killing whatever "fattened calf" I may of found on sale during my last shopping trip, and we have this big par-tay(okay, we have a feast and either games or movie night, complete with popcorn and at least 1-2 desserts, but close enough), because, what once was lost has now been found!
I'm not sure how long those New Testament people par-tayed, but I'm pretty sure they didn't do this every. single. weekend.
Keep in mind rule #2, and....yes, you have a recipe for disaster.
Oh, and indigestion.
I knew something needed to change, as did my husband. As our numbers on the scale started to climb, and we started to see some unpleasant side effects of living the fat life, we started to try and get serious.
We tried doing what we could, we tried eating less, we tried eating better. We did exercise here and there.
But, the fat person code.
And money is tight.
And...freaking chocolate, and bacon.
Stupid chocolate and bacon. Why do you have to taste so good and ruin everything?!?!
Anyways, so I thought maybe if I tried to take this working out thing a bit more seriously...maybe the better eating would follow, or, if nothing else, maybe I'd actually lose a few pounds and that would propel me to take this a bit more seriously. But, of course, it didn't.
Do you know what it took for me to finally get angry enough to do something about it?
A huge blow-out between me and my husband on...money. And his leadership skills, or in my head at the time, a lack of.
You know those people who self-destruct because of things other people around them do? Well, that's what happened. Sort of.
I got so mad after trying so long to get things in order...I self-destructed.
"You want to be selfish about money? FINE! Then I'm going to take out our emergency savings and buy all of us clothes and things I've been putting off, because, budget!!!"
"You don't want to lead/be a good example in our health? WHATEVER, DUDE! I'm going to start working out and dieting by myself, then! If you want to stay fat, you're going to have to do it by yourself, because I'm not joining the pity-party fat club meetings anymore, DANG IT!!!"
So, in my anger, I went out and bought, amoung other things....all this.
That's right! This gal is on a diet!
I'm trying to keep it as simple as my simple little brain can handle right now. So, my diet "regimen" includes...
1. One of the two teas pictured(I alternate when I get bored with one), flavored with the Garcinia Cambogia packet.
2. 30 minutes later, a Slim-Fast Shake and a multivitamin
3. One gallon of water, sipped over the course of the day.
4. One more Slim Fast Shake at lunch
5. A container of yogurt for a snack
6. A small portioned dinner, one helping, no going back for seconds(that's what the plate is for, because I need to learn to portion myself better).
Please note- I am no longer drinking coffee at this time. I have started to drink less since April. I'm not sure if I will continue doing this or not. I do feel a bit sluggish/tired sometimes, but I'm hoping it will get better as I continue.
Oh, and I said working out, right? Well, after trying several things on and off for two months, and not finding one that I wanted to become frienemies with(because, let's be real here. Denise can become a little too happy and a little too annoying after awhile. I mean, we get it, Denise. You love helping people lose weight and be healthy. Tone it down, already.), I was SO HAPPY to find out that two or three people uploaded to YouTube a workout I used to do religiously when I was in my late teens! *Happy Squeals!*
Now, before any of you say "Yoga is just stretching out of bed, it's not a REAL workout!" and all those funny meme's we see on social media about yoga, let me tell you, Steve will kick your butt, but make you laugh in a snarky way the entire time. And he will put music on in the background while kicking your butt via downward dogs and happy cows, that you will remember from growing up and then you won't be so mad at him for your hurting arms or sore legs.
Or maybe that's just me.
I know this may come as a shock to some, but yes, I actually do love yoga. I was suprised to find out that, after three kids and a husband later, though...yoga isn't as easy for me! Yes, that 150 pound young girl that thought she was obese(seriously, I wish I could slap my younger self), but could do a few(not all) of the advanced moves is now breaking into a huge sweat trying to push herself to do the beginners moves!
But I am still freaking loving it.
For the next month, I'm going to try to do Inhale with Steve Ross at least four times a week, and keep with my diet regimen at least six. I'm giving myself what I heard another guru call a "YOLO day", because calling it a cheat seems wrong and dirty. I will still abide by the small plate rule, though, and I will still be attempting at least a gallon a day even though it's mycheat YOLO day.
So far, I'm on week one. I did already backslide one day this week(Wednesday), because of my daughter's volunteer job and not being prepared food-wise for it. Now, I know better and will try my best to plan for it instead of hoping the kids get the memo to pack a meal. Because they always forget to pack a meal.
Today will be my last day one week. And lookie! I lost some water weight! Went from 210-ish to 205-ish! Go me!
Anyone else out there trying to shed a few pounds or just be a little bit more health-conscious this summer? I'd love to hear about it! Feel free to comment below or on my Youtube page.
Here's to a (hopefully) slimmer summer!
Until Next Time,
~ Mama Jenn
Okay, I have something to confess.
It may come as a surprise to some.
Are you sitting down for this?
Okay....*deep breath*....
I have to confess...
that...
well....
I may or may not actually enjoy working out, and I'm dieting again...and I may or may not be liking that, too.
Are you going to be okay hearing this news?
That's not a representative of the Fat Girls Motorcyclycle Club in the back, ready to revoke my membership, is it?
No, I don't need a bar of chocolate, I haven't lost my mind.
I think.
Okay, in all seriousness....yes, I am watching my calories and I'm exercising. Remember my last post here and my YouTube video here? Well, I thought I wasn't going to "do one of those crazy diets" like I said in another video. I was going to try and just eat real foods, because that worked so well for me a few years back when I went from my biggest weight- 220 lbs.- to something that didn't make my skin feel like it was about to explode- 198-200-ish(depending on the day and how much chocolate may or may not of been consumed). I thought it would work like last time, because, hey, I lost weight and ate better and worked out and everything was awesome and unicorns and glitter and all that jazz, am I right?
Except...my husband.
You see, as much as I hate to admit this, but there's a fat person code. It's out there, it's unspoken, and yes, whether you acknowledge it or not, if you are fat, you do abide by most of its unspoken rules.
What kind of rules, you ask? Well, depending on your region of the country, the wording may vary. The top two rules that I break are-
1. If you give me food, I will pretty much eat it.
and...
2. If there is another fat person in the same room as you as you eat, and they tend to eat more than you do, and you see this, you will try to self-consciously compete with them by forcing yourself to eat as much or more as they do. And if they eat faster than you do, then guess what? Pretty soon that casual eating experience starts to look like two sumo wrestlers at a food eating competition. Except no one wins. Except maybe the indigestion product companies.
I have concluded that my husband has become my supplier. Just like a crack addict meeting theirs in a back alley somewhere, my husband will arrive in the shadows of the night(because, hey, he's a truck driver and he's never guaranteed home at any day or hour), and I will meet him at a semi-private location(the kitchen). I will pace around frantically and with slight jitters to physically show that I need "the goods" and "I'm starting to have withdrawal symptoms". He will look around nervously to see that the food cops(i.e., my kids) aren't lurking around the corner, ready to do a seize on the goods. When there is no sign of the coppers and traffic around us is relatively still(i.e., the kids are on devices or watching TV), then he will either deliver the goods from a bag hidden in a special location(his coat pocket, his back pocket, behind his back, or his meal bag). I will glance around nervously to see if anyone detected the noise of said bag being opened/ moved, and he will either place it in my hand while kissing me, or he will quickly drop it at a pre-disclosed and agreed upon location for me to pick up later(the freezer). We will then exchange payment if we haven't done so already(a kiss), and then go our separate ways out of the kitchen, one at a time so as not to look conspicuous, and then we return about our normal duties.
What is this my husband is supplying me? Is it crack? Speed? Dope?
Nope. It's his weekly offering of chocolate.
Also, when he gets home, it's like that Bible story of the prodigal son. You know, the son leaves his father's home, spends his inheritance, becomes poor, contemplates eating pig food before thinking, oh, hey, maybe I should just go home and become a servant for my dad so at least I won't have to eat this crap. So, he returns, and much to his surprise, his father welcomes him with open arms, kills the fattened calf, and they have this big par-tay, because, hey, what once was lost has now been found!
Except that, it's my husband. He leaves the home every week, in his church clothes, gets super dirty doing truck driver related things, contemplates eating pig food(I mean, gas station food), before realizing, oh, hey, it's almost time to go back home to my wife and kids. And then he arrives on my door, the smell of diesel fuel and cigarettes still lingering a bit on him. Much to his surprise, his wife and children are there to greet him, welcoming him with open arms....killing whatever "fattened calf" I may of found on sale during my last shopping trip, and we have this big par-tay(okay, we have a feast and either games or movie night, complete with popcorn and at least 1-2 desserts, but close enough), because, what once was lost has now been found!
I'm not sure how long those New Testament people par-tayed, but I'm pretty sure they didn't do this every. single. weekend.
Keep in mind rule #2, and....yes, you have a recipe for disaster.
Oh, and indigestion.
I knew something needed to change, as did my husband. As our numbers on the scale started to climb, and we started to see some unpleasant side effects of living the fat life, we started to try and get serious.
 |
| It's a'climbing, and not in a good way(*-_-) |
We tried doing what we could, we tried eating less, we tried eating better. We did exercise here and there.
But, the fat person code.
And money is tight.
And...freaking chocolate, and bacon.
Stupid chocolate and bacon. Why do you have to taste so good and ruin everything?!?!
Anyways, so I thought maybe if I tried to take this working out thing a bit more seriously...maybe the better eating would follow, or, if nothing else, maybe I'd actually lose a few pounds and that would propel me to take this a bit more seriously. But, of course, it didn't.
Do you know what it took for me to finally get angry enough to do something about it?
A huge blow-out between me and my husband on...money. And his leadership skills, or in my head at the time, a lack of.
You know those people who self-destruct because of things other people around them do? Well, that's what happened. Sort of.
I got so mad after trying so long to get things in order...I self-destructed.
"You want to be selfish about money? FINE! Then I'm going to take out our emergency savings and buy all of us clothes and things I've been putting off, because, budget!!!"
"You don't want to lead/be a good example in our health? WHATEVER, DUDE! I'm going to start working out and dieting by myself, then! If you want to stay fat, you're going to have to do it by yourself, because I'm not joining the pity-party fat club meetings anymore, DANG IT!!!"
So, in my anger, I went out and bought, amoung other things....all this.
 |
| I got most of this on sale. Because, although I was angry, I'm not stupid. Most of the time. |
I'm trying to keep it as simple as my simple little brain can handle right now. So, my diet "regimen" includes...
1. One of the two teas pictured(I alternate when I get bored with one), flavored with the Garcinia Cambogia packet.
2. 30 minutes later, a Slim-Fast Shake and a multivitamin
3. One gallon of water, sipped over the course of the day.
4. One more Slim Fast Shake at lunch
5. A container of yogurt for a snack
6. A small portioned dinner, one helping, no going back for seconds(that's what the plate is for, because I need to learn to portion myself better).
Please note- I am no longer drinking coffee at this time. I have started to drink less since April. I'm not sure if I will continue doing this or not. I do feel a bit sluggish/tired sometimes, but I'm hoping it will get better as I continue.
 |
| To give you an idea of what I'm considering a "small portion". If it doesn't fit on the plate, I don't eat it. |
 |
| Inhale with Steve Ross! |
Or maybe that's just me.
I know this may come as a shock to some, but yes, I actually do love yoga. I was suprised to find out that, after three kids and a husband later, though...yoga isn't as easy for me! Yes, that 150 pound young girl that thought she was obese(seriously, I wish I could slap my younger self), but could do a few(not all) of the advanced moves is now breaking into a huge sweat trying to push herself to do the beginners moves!
But I am still freaking loving it.
For the next month, I'm going to try to do Inhale with Steve Ross at least four times a week, and keep with my diet regimen at least six. I'm giving myself what I heard another guru call a "YOLO day", because calling it a cheat seems wrong and dirty. I will still abide by the small plate rule, though, and I will still be attempting at least a gallon a day even though it's my
So far, I'm on week one. I did already backslide one day this week(Wednesday), because of my daughter's volunteer job and not being prepared food-wise for it. Now, I know better and will try my best to plan for it instead of hoping the kids get the memo to pack a meal. Because they always forget to pack a meal.
Today will be my last day one week. And lookie! I lost some water weight! Went from 210-ish to 205-ish! Go me!
 |
| Five Pounds! Yipee! |
Anyone else out there trying to shed a few pounds or just be a little bit more health-conscious this summer? I'd love to hear about it! Feel free to comment below or on my Youtube page.
Here's to a (hopefully) slimmer summer!
Until Next Time,
~ Mama Jenn
Monday, June 20, 2016
Summer Reading 2016
Greetings, Chaotics!
Today, I thought I'd share what our each member in our family is reading this summer. I don't include my husband in this, because, although I have bought him many books, he rarely reads. *shrugs*
So, with that said, here is what the children and I are reading this summer!
My Youngest Daughter(Age 9)
*The Beginner's Bible
*Play Ball, Amelia Bedelia!
* The Fire Cat
*Greg's Microscope
*Nate the Great
*Titanic: Lost and Found
* Junie B. Jones: Monkey Buisness
*Junie B. Jones and Her Big Fat Mouth
*More Junie B. Jones books of her choosing(we have several, and she really likes them)
*The Chalk Box Kid
*The Paint Brush Kid
* Riding the Pony Express
*Clara and the Book Wagon
*Keep the Lights Burning, Abbie
* Prarie School
*Third Grade Detectives #1, #2, #4, #10
* Jake Drake: Bully Buster
My Son(Age 10)
* Robin Hood
*Swiss Family Robinson
*The Adventures of Tom Sawyer
*The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
*Treasure Island
*The Year of the Boar and Jackie Robinson
*Sadoka and the Thousand Paper Cranes
*House of Sixty Fathers
My Oldest Daughter(Age 12)
* The Time Machine
*20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
* Famous Men of the Middle Ages
*The Screwtape Letters
*The Unaborted Socrates
*Mary Jones and Her Bible
*The Great Tennessee Monkey Trial(Audiobook)
*Vivan Apple At The End Of The World(Audiobook)
*The Boy Born Dead(Audiobook)
*Words in the Dust(Audiobook)
Me(30, I mean Forever 21)
*Consumer Reports Books: How to Clean Practically Anything
* I'm Not the New Me(note- this is a re-read, from my college days. It has some language in it, but this woman is my spirit animal at attempting to figure herself out)
* The Complete Tightwad Gazette(Also another re-read, but from my single mom days.Not fully reading, but grazing through it because several of the sections don't apply as technology isn't the same,etc.)
*Homesteading(mostly grazing through this, not fully/completely reading it)
*The Good Wife's Guide(Yes, I know there's a list *out there*, but a wonderful lady whose website I follow made it into a book)
*Reshaping It All: Motivation for Physical and Spiritual Fitness
And yes, I'm still(still?! Yes, STILL.) reading...
*Created to Be His HelpMeet
What are y'all reading for the summer? Any goodies the kids and I should be adding to our list? Anyone doing a Summer Reading Program at home/with their local library?
Until Next Time,
~ Mama Jenn
Today, I thought I'd share what our each member in our family is reading this summer. I don't include my husband in this, because, although I have bought him many books, he rarely reads. *shrugs*
So, with that said, here is what the children and I are reading this summer!
My Youngest Daughter(Age 9)
*The Beginner's Bible
*Play Ball, Amelia Bedelia!
* The Fire Cat
*Greg's Microscope
*Nate the Great
*Titanic: Lost and Found
* Junie B. Jones: Monkey Buisness
*Junie B. Jones and Her Big Fat Mouth
*More Junie B. Jones books of her choosing(we have several, and she really likes them)
*The Chalk Box Kid
*The Paint Brush Kid
* Riding the Pony Express
*Clara and the Book Wagon
*Keep the Lights Burning, Abbie
* Prarie School
*Third Grade Detectives #1, #2, #4, #10
* Jake Drake: Bully Buster
My Son(Age 10)
* Robin Hood
*Swiss Family Robinson
*The Adventures of Tom Sawyer
*The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
*Treasure Island
*The Year of the Boar and Jackie Robinson
*Sadoka and the Thousand Paper Cranes
*House of Sixty Fathers
My Oldest Daughter(Age 12)
* The Time Machine
*20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
* Famous Men of the Middle Ages
*The Screwtape Letters
*The Unaborted Socrates
*Mary Jones and Her Bible
*The Great Tennessee Monkey Trial(Audiobook)
*Vivan Apple At The End Of The World(Audiobook)
*The Boy Born Dead(Audiobook)
*Words in the Dust(Audiobook)
Me(
*Consumer Reports Books: How to Clean Practically Anything
* I'm Not the New Me(note- this is a re-read, from my college days. It has some language in it, but this woman is my spirit animal at attempting to figure herself out)
* The Complete Tightwad Gazette(Also another re-read, but from my single mom days.Not fully reading, but grazing through it because several of the sections don't apply as technology isn't the same,etc.)
*Homesteading(mostly grazing through this, not fully/completely reading it)
*The Good Wife's Guide(Yes, I know there's a list *out there*, but a wonderful lady whose website I follow made it into a book)
*Reshaping It All: Motivation for Physical and Spiritual Fitness
And yes, I'm still(still?! Yes, STILL.) reading...
*Created to Be His HelpMeet
What are y'all reading for the summer? Any goodies the kids and I should be adding to our list? Anyone doing a Summer Reading Program at home/with their local library?
Until Next Time,
~ Mama Jenn
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