Okay, so just when I thought, Hey, I'm getting the hang of all this udder chaos in my life. I got this! God decides to add another chapter into my life.
After a six year halt to anything closely resembling it, I dare to say…I finally had a date.
Wait…did you hear that? I had a date!!!
Yes, and that made this very mature mama of three suddenly feel like a giddy young girl being asked to the spring ball. I won't name names yet, because after all, it was the first date. I'm not entirely sure what the next step is (another date? Him running for the hills, never to speak to me again? Something better? Something worse?) . And because I was too timid to ask, I really don't know for sure how he felt about it. Plus, there was an incident with my hair. Regardless of where we stand, I hope we can both laugh about it someday.
Okay, for those of you that don't know…I always have issues with my hair. I love my hair, don't get me wrong, but…it has a mind of its own. I have come to laugh it off, make jokes about it, and overall accept it for what it is. It's like my children- I try hard to discipline it, keep it in its place, but at the end of the day, I love it too much to do anything extreme to make sure the rules are obeyed. Now, what does this have to do with my date? Well…there was a snuggle incident. I had been silently praying for this guy to touch me in some way the entire night. No, not like that. I meant just hold my hand, or attempt to do the stretch him arms over his head and wrap his arm around my shoulders trick. But, either he was too much of a gentleman, too shy, or just as lost in the sauce about the whole ordeal as I was, because he didn't try any of that. I thought, maybe I was staring too hard at the movie screen, and he thought I was more interested in the movie than him (not true-I was trying not to make him uncomfortable by constantly admiring him. I won't lie- he's hot stuff! ). Maybe I bored him to tears with my talk about processed foods while we were talking over ice-cream?
Don't look at me that way…I'm a fat girl, who was trying very hard not to talk about my kids all night. Or homeschooling/college courses that I'm trying hard not to fail. Or how long I had been waiting for him to ask me out. Or how great he looked and smelled, without sounding like a weirdo with sensory issues. What else did you think I was going to talk about?!
An-y-ways, I finally got tired of waiting and put my head on his shoulder. Nothing too scandalous, right? I mean, if he freaked out over it, I could just say, I was falling asleep and wasn't aware of where my head was…uhh...headed. Well, he didn't freak out. He tried to lay his head on top of mine. And here was where he was met with a forest of hair.
I'm almost certain he missed 10 minutes of the movie trying to get out of it. It was that bad. I apologized once he found his way out. He said it was okay. I was silently cursing my hair for its big-ness. Major brownie points lost. No mention of second date, no kiss goodnight. I think I saw him attempting to run from my house. In that "oh my gosh, she can probably smell fear, so let me run like I'm trying to dodge raindrops and not run for dear life" sort of way.
I'm almost certain this is not how people make good first impressions on a date. *facepalm*
But, if he can get over that issue…I could definitely see more dates in our future. However, as I said before, I'm not sure of how he feels since he gave all indications towards the end that he was no longer interested. Or maybe I'm reading too hard into all this. I really, really hope I didn't scare him off. Until I know for sure he's not embarrassed to be associated with me, I'm going to keep him anonymous on my blog. If he would just tell me (I know I know…most men aren't so open with their feelings. But a girl can dream, right?) a bit more of what he was feeling, even if it was, "You know, I think we're just better off as friends…" then I wouldn't be freaking out so much about this.
Again with the reading too hard into this. *sigh*
Can you tell I'm not very patient when it comes to matters of the heart? Can you tell I really like this guy? I can't help it…I've waited a long time for him to ask me. He has been giving me mixed signals for several months now. One minute I feel like I'm one step closer to a potential something wonderful with him; the next, I feel like I've messed it all up and he'll never speak or associate with me again.
Either he's just as interested (dare I hope?), or he enjoys watching the udder chaos called my life and just sticks around for funsies.
Does Mama Jenn finally have a…a…boyfriend??? *GULP*
I guess you're just going to have to keep checking back to find out!
Until next time…