Start With Where You're At

"And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ[right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you." -Philippians 1:6
"Therefore humble yourselves[demote, lower yourselves in your own estimation] under the mighty hand of God, that in due time He may exalt you. Casting the whole of your care[all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully[Psalm 55:22].-1 Peter 5:6-7.
I was SO excited a few weeks ago to start "our" eclectic little homeschool curriculum. The kids had loved just about every subject, nearly all of it we had obtained for free by the grace of God, and that we had to pay for was very low in cost.
But then...I looked on here and saw others preparing for public school. I had struck up conversation with other homeschoolers as well as those whose children were attending public school. Through listening/joining into all these conversations, I suddenly felt inadequate. Our little eclectic curriculum didn't seem like it was "enough". All my excitement turned into panic. I stopped doing schoolwork with the kids. Someone(I won't mention names) questioned my ability, jokingly, to homeschool my children-but of course, combined with everything else, just confirmed in my mind that I was steering the kids on a one-way ticket to stupidity.
The past few days, I had been researching new curriculum. I had been comparing prices, reading reviews, and trying to scramble to find things that would fill in all the gaps.
BUT...I started going through old photos here(on Facebook). And God was whispering, "see? You WERE teaching them."
Then, after getting frustrated once again after looking over the phone-book sized homeschooling catalog(homeschoolers, y'all know which one I mean!), I emerged from my bedroom and my eyes looked around my living room. I recalled a conversation I had with Solstice yesterday, when asking her where she found out about something I thought she didn't know yet. "In the encyclopedia," she replied casually.
A few years ago, when I vocally expressed what was on my heart(to homeschool), I was scared out of my wits. I couldn't finish a college level math in my major without resorting to tears after the first week, for goodness sake, how on earth was I going to take on the responsibility to homeschool THREE children, for possibly TWELVE years?! I didn't have a homeschool book in sight when we started. I had a preschool book, a library card, a bus pass to get to said library, and faith that this is what God was calling me to do.
This morning, as I looked at the bookshelves lovingly built by the hands of my husband...and the filing cabinet that was left by a previous tenant...and the desk provided by a church member...and the "TV" stand(which really should be called another book shelf for all the books that couldn't fit on the first bookshelf my husband built, that also holds the TV)...as I listen to a sermon talking about casting cares on God and not ourselves as I do the dishes...God speaks to my heart. When I first started, I didn't care that we weren't exactly like the public school(in fact, it was my goal for us to look NOTHING like a public school, especially the one that had let us down!), or "that homeschool family" a few miles/etc. away, or that we had what the world would deem "suitable" curriculum. I had faith! God called us to a good work and he was going to make a way. I wasn't comparing, I wasn't thinking "we could do better if we just had...", I was pliable and humble. God HAD provided the books we needed, God DID supply us with the materials required for the time(s), God CONTINUED that good work in us as long as we were trusting on him(and not ourselves) to meet the need, and as long as we remained humble!
I know God has called us to change course this year. But by looking at the world(and myself and my ability), instead of keeping my trust in him(and his ability), I allowed myself to worry and stress over something that God already said to, "don't worry, I GOT THIS." about.
God is doing a good work in our homeschool. It may not look like another family's homeschool. It may not look like the local public school's work. It certainly will not look like the way I or my husband were schooled(and I thank God for that!). But it WILL be a good work, as long as we remain humble. My children will lack no good thing(education or otherwise) as long as we remain pliable and humble to God's will. I just have to go back to our beginnings- I have to have faith, start with what we have, and trust that God will provide what we need when we need it! And if worry over what we're doing should arise, I have to cast it right to God, because I SHOULD NOT and CANNOT handle it on my own!
The words on my heart this morning were "start with where you're at.". God has started a good thing in our hearts-let's not try to do better in our own eyes, let's start with where God has us at. Even if that means looking the mess we created dead in the eyes. Even if that means seeing ourselves for who we really are. Even if that means admitting(HUMBLE pie, anyone?) that there is something in our lives that we want to do more in, but coming to the point of realizing we can't without God. Start with where you're at. Not where that other person is. Not where that other family is. Not where someone else's children are at, or someone else's spouse is at, or heck, maybe even not where your own spouse is at. Not where any other book may say you(or your children, or your spouse, or your homeschool, or your career, or anything in between) should say you should be at. Start with God's word, and where you're currently at.
God can work with you, no matter where you're at. But only if you remain humble and open to allowing him to continue that good work he started(or is trying to start) in you.#revivalstartswithme #revivalinourhomeschool #revivalinmyheartandmind