Last week, I mentioned I was feeling week 6. And it's true- I was feeling IT. The struggle was real, folks. As I got closer and closer to the end of the week, my diet just kept slipping and slipping. Yes, I was still at or under my calorie budget. But I was eating crappier and crappier foods each day. My body started to feel crummy and there were several times I just cried because I was so mad at myself for self-destructing what I felt like was weeks of hard work. I stopped taking my multivitamin, too.
My oldest, who is also dieting, started seeing me and caving as well. Again, nothing too extreme, but still...she started to feel crappy and lost energy as well. Which made me feel even worse.
Thursday was the icing on the cake. I decided that all this just HAS to do with the fact that I didn't take my weekly date myself night. So, I decided that, no matter what, I was going to fill up that bathtub, get my secret stash of chocolate out of the freezer, light that candle, grab my tablet, and stay in that tub until I looked like a human sized prune.
The only problem? Everything.
Because of the week I had, I decided, I need to treat myself MORE, to just get it out of my system, so to speak(because that worked so well for me before....not.). So, I grabbed a bag of semi-better for you nacho chips that was 3/4 full, two and a half Reese's Peanut Butter Cups(my husband has been bringing them home melted as of lately, so the other half of one was all over the inside of the package instead of in the cup). I put the bathtub to the hottest water setting because, well, why not? I have in the past and it felt like ah-may-zing, especially after several days of kicking butt and taking names workout-wise. I lit that candle. I found something of interest on YouTube. I poured the last(*sniff*sniff* :( ) of my Cucumber Melon Bath and Body Works Body Wash into the tub, got my razor out to shave my legs at some point, took my clothes off, and sank in. Ahhhh.
At first, I started to eat the nacho flavored tortilla chips. I thought, I'm not going to worry about the calories. I'm just going to inhale it. I slowly started to eat one chip at a time, savoring the different spices. But then, after about five chips, I just said, okay, savoring moment over, inhale time!
I paused long enough to inhale the Peanut Butter cups, then continued on with the nacho-flavored tortilla chips.
Within five minutes, I stopped. I felt like I was having a hard time breathing. I realized, oh, maybe I'm full. I looked at the container I had put the tortilla chips in, and realized, I had eaten almost all of them. Not all of them, but most of them. I kept trying to force myself to eat more, but then something hit me.
Do you know what hit me? Nausea. Nausea hit me.
Suddenly, I felt like I was going to puke. I pushed the container away, sat back in the tub, closed my eyes, and took several slow, deep breaths. I am NOT throwing up tortillas in the bathtub. I am NOT throwing up tortillas in the bathtub!
As I kept repeating this to myself, another realization hit me.
Holy snot, when did the water in this tub get so hot?!?
What a few minutes ago felt like heaven suddenly made me feel like a lobster in boiling water. I was nauseous, I was sweating profusely, and my skin felt like it was boiling. I tried to stay in the tub, saying this was a treat, I needed to get this out of my system, etc. etc....
Then ended up jumping out of the tub, blasting the AC on and sitting in front of the fan, trying to not puke and make my heart beat normal instead of like it was going to jump out of chest.
And once again...crying.
So much for my date night >:(
I ended up laying in bed the rest of the night, trying to calm the raging storm that was my stomach and trying hard not to move so my heart wouldn't decided to take a walk out of my mouth. And praying for help because I was sucking so bad all week.
I don't know why, but I weighed myself the next morning. I didn't take a picture, because, honestly, I was afraid it was going to say "Get off of me, fatty!" Or, "After the week you had, you've got to be kidding me."
And do you know what I saw? Do you?
Only something that could of came from God.
I cried again. There was just no way! I stepped on the scale two more times.
Are you serious? I mean....ARE. YOU. SERIOUS?!?
I looked back on the week and realized, maybe the week wasn't as awful as I thought. I still worked out....not as much I can, but I still tried. I did eat my non-diet fare, but I was still eating a child-sized helping of most of it(except Thursday). I was sleeping so much because I was feeling crummy that, well, duh me, I wasn't eating snacks or finding an excuse to eat more.
I still didn't take a picture, because I didn't feel like I earned that weight loss.
Yes, I see once again that I do need to make a better attempt at eating better for my body foods. And this pay, I do vow to change my diet for the remaining two weeks of August. But, at least there's a silver lining in the crumpled aluminum foil of my week, no?
Friday evening....I got my period.
I ended up spending the weekend eating super small portions and curled in fetal position in my bed over cramps.
Stupid nacho flavored tortilla chips with more sodium than all the oceans combined. I hate you.
Yesterday, I tried to workout a little bit. I had forgot I had joined a challenge on LoseIt! to workout at least 15 minutes every day for the rest of August and it started yesterday. So, I quickly found a 15 minute Denise Austin Workout and forced myself to do it.
Then I did a 5 minute quick walk routine with Leslie Sansone.
I was going to push myself to do a lower abdomen workout, but then my husband called, and by the time we got off the phone, it was time to tuck in the kids and go to bed.
This morning, I'm still feeling a little iffy because of my unwelcome visitor, but I'm going to try and push myself to get at least 15 minutes of working out in today. I'm hoping my unwelcome visitor will go away tomorrow and I can get back to my usual workout routine once again. But, for today, I am just trying to get back on track with Slim Fast and get back in the habit of just working out in some way. And hoping my last week's failures will not mess up my energy levels this week. Again.
Hopefully, this weekend, I can jump start my personal challenge of eating more produce and hopefully getting my energy levels back or better than where they were. If I do, I will try to upload pictures and/or writing what I eat/do a few times next week.
Anyways, here's to hoping for a better week!
Until Next Time,
~ Mama Jenn